fish out of water.
wearing tap shoes.
Laying in the shower sobbing.
This isn’t fun. This is torture. So abrupt. And so sudden I know naught from whence it grew.
Yesterday and the days before. No matter how difficult I still enjoyed myself and had fun.
Today. No. This has been a wreck.
Everything crumbling in my hands.
Watch it break.
i still know when i’m being lied to.
I have a budget that I follow. It allows me to maybe have a meal out here and there. Sometimes it doesn’t and I still do and then I struggle. That’s my fault.
Unexpected bills. Also my fault to some degree.
But I make do. I struggle along.
Bit do not fucking whine to me or anyone else if you have had a vacation this year. Let alone 3-4.
Beach. Morocco. And then this was going to be one.
Bitch you’ve spent your money. Quit boohoo’ing and suck it up. Guess what you can afford that apartment. Just not by being a dumbass.
I make less than you. And my bills are equal if not greater than yours. Guess what. I’m alive and still working my ass off.
How do you ever expect anyone to take you seriously as a human being?
I can’t ask for your time anymore. Every time I do someone has already claimed it.
And you don’t ever ask of mine.
If you truly don’t want to see me. Sit with me. Watch tv or eat together.
Just say so.
If you don’t I have nothing left but to assume you don’t want me anymore…
What have I done?
To deserve this?
As you rush to be rid of me,
But… I’m not done yet?
Curled up in covers.
Because no arms will hold me.
This is miserable.
You are breaking my heart.
I saw red.
And then it just allowed me through.
Saw the image. Thanked god it wasn’t who I thought it was.
Because had it have been.
It would have been game on.
Scorned so hard by something.
I would have lit starbucks on fire.
We seemingly need to speak on this though.
I’m sorry I stooped to your level.
But in the moment it made sense.
It would have explained so much.
Ability to do anything about it?
But turned down by many.
Whether for conversation or company.
Brett told me I looked good. Happy.
That’s a positive.
And purple toes
Twice so far you’ve spent the night.
Once we have eaten to together.
July is failing.