anthromorphic fish

fish out of water.
wearing tap shoes.

Jul 24
“Fuck me for trying.”

“Another day in extreme solitude.”

“I want you to want to spend time with me.
I can’t ask for your time anymore. Every time I do someone has already claimed it.
And you don’t ever ask of mine.
If you truly don’t want to see me. Sit with me. Watch tv or eat together.
Just say so.
If you don’t I have nothing left but to assume you don’t want me anymore…”

“Am I really so unloveable?
What have I done?
To deserve this?”

As you rush to be rid of me,

I balk.

But… I’m not done yet?

Jul 23
Curled up in covers.
Because no arms will hold me.
This is miserable.
You are breaking my heart.”

Jul 22
“Sorry I failed.
I saw red.
And then it just allowed me through.
Saw the image. Thanked god it wasn’t who I thought it was.
Because had it have been.
It would have been game on.
Scorned so hard by something.
I would have lit starbucks on fire.
We seemingly need to speak on this though.
I’m sorry I stooped to your level.
But in the moment it made sense.
It would have explained so much.
Regret. Yes
Ability to do anything about it?

“Nother day in solitude.
Strangely jovial.
But turned down by many.
Whether for conversation or company.
Brett told me I looked good. Happy.
That’s a positive.”

“Cold feet
And purple toes
What’s happening?”

“Twice so far we’ve had sex.
Twice so far you’ve spent the night.
Once we have eaten to together.
July is failing.”

Jul 21
“I want to find what we have had in someone else.
You were perfect.
It worked so well.
Till lately.
With the end in sight.
Such a strange way.
It doesn’t bother me approaching it.
Save for that you are distancing, and breaking my heart.
But the idea that we have a month doesn’t phase me at all.
I just didn’t want much of anything to change.
Just see you the night before you left hold you. Kiss you. Nuzzle.
And then know that you’re gone from me the next day.
Should you want to call or text me bye.
That could be nice.
But not needed.”

“I miss you.
I miss us.
I am dying.”

Jul 20
“if you guys were watching tv on the couch or whatever
i wouldn’t care, or least barely care
but it’s the fact i know you’re laying on the bed watching tv when you fall asleep
her bed.
you sleeping.
her sleeping.
not okay.”

“Can we have one more day, just nice and loving before this dissipates?”

“Those closest to us help dictate how we perceive ourselves.
It’s a sad fact.
So don’t surround yourself with assholes.”

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