anthromorphic fish

fish out of water.
wearing tap shoes.

Oct 11
“i scoff when i look back
but to censor myself would be unreal.
so i’ll leave it to sit.”

“Intimacy is not who you let touch you. Intimacy is who you text at 3am about your dreams and fears. Intimacy is giving someone your attention, when ten other people are asking for it. Intimacy is the person always in the back of your mind, no matter how distracted you are.”

(via h-o-r-n-g-r-y)


Sep 30
“Sitting here highly amused.
And amazingly not yet at all agitated.
You are possibly sleeping with another right now after having made love.
As you like to put it.
I don’t make love with many.
I’m sure I’ll have sex.
But making love. Is only for those I have loved.
Enjoy yourself.
Let loose.
And orgasm.
For you.
For me.
So that truly. I can detach.
And move on.
I’ve always got the feeling you had already with someone else.
While we were.
But this time I’m assured.
So it’s so much easier.
To smile.
And wish you well.
With whatever life holds.
You’ll always be a favorite in my memory.”

“I hope one day someone looks at me the way I have looked at you.
With longing of lust and of adoration. Your body and soul.
Together.
Love.
I may have had it. And maybe I just missed it. Missed catching them in the look.
I know I’m just too open with my own. Getting caught staring at you.
Or like yesterday when I was reflecting and telling someone of your journey. They and a coworker both commented they had never caught me looking quite like that. Very happy and with such a genuine smile and the far away look in my eye.
I can picture you out there only barely. And I grasp at straws to have an idea of it all.
Your pictures don’t dictate much for me. But enough. I can paint a lazy picture.
I hope your hair is down.”

Sep 29

you’re loosing me.


Sep 25

I no longer feel like this relationship is sustainable suddenly. 

You don’t seem to care at all about me anymore.

Just what I can give you. Which is hot, the the sexual fashion to some degree.

But loosing a friend. And someone who I’ve gone through a lot with. That is upsetting. And I don’t want a slow drift. If that is what is to be. Then I just want to cut off the limb and carry on.

Yes everything changed and ‘reset’ when you left to some degree. You are gone. Things are different. And yet, the games are still being played by everyone. Except me.

Why lie. Why try to coerce someone into something they themselves are doing while lying about it all.

Its just so fucking dumb. I thought this was over with. I tire of bullshit.


Sep 23

I do not use the word home lightly.

So when I sigh it into the crook of your neck,

Believe that your spine is a timber frame,

Your kiss a welcome mat,

And your enveloping arms my front door

sekaoj.

(via h-o-r-n-g-r-y)


Sep 19
“My first and last chance to get some rest and actually sleep a full night this week and next without waking for work. I’m utterly exhausted and slowly getting sleep sleep deprived.”

Aug 31

Vomiting.

Crying

Laying in the shower sobbing.

I can’t.

This isn’t fun. This is torture. So abrupt. And so sudden I know naught from whence it grew.

Yesterday and the days before. No matter how difficult I still enjoyed myself and had fun.

Today. No. This has been a wreck.

Everything crumbling in my hands.

Oh man.

Watch it break.


Aug 15
“it’s weird.
i still know when i’m being lied to.”

Aug 6
“I can’t handle adults acting like children. How petty can folks be on a day to day basis?
How do you ever expect anyone to take you seriously as a human being?”

Jul 24
“Fuck me for trying.”

“Another day in extreme solitude.”

“I want you to want to spend time with me.
I can’t ask for your time anymore. Every time I do someone has already claimed it.
And you don’t ever ask of mine.
If you truly don’t want to see me. Sit with me. Watch tv or eat together.
Just say so.
If you don’t I have nothing left but to assume you don’t want me anymore…”

“Am I really so unloveable?
What have I done?
To deserve this?”

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