anthromorphic fish

fish out of water.
wearing tap shoes.

Apr 15
“Something has to give.
I’m just not entirely sure what
Or what the consequences will be.”

“I need to find something to love
Something to hope on
Everything feels lost
Moving. Lovers. Art.
Nothing to hold to myself to look forward to.
Gotta start readjusting
Or something
I’ve lost all interest in people outside my own
And my own have lost interest in me
I don’t want to go out anymore
Loss of money
And tired of gossip”

“I don’t give up
Until I feel that everyone else has
Then I lay down my sword
And curl up in my grave”

“I feel I’ve failed myself.
Myself and others.
No one feels close anymore
Lovers. Family. Friends.
Sad little castle on my sad little hill
Ready to burn it down
And run
As far as possible
From everyone.”

“tired of fighting
tired of trying
tired of being upset
nothing is in my court
i hold no strings”

“i’m loosing all the battles
How can I expect to win the war?”

Apr 14
“Legs twitching to the same rhythm as the dryer
Zippers clicky clacking as the go round
I no longer hear water.
But a train
Bearing down in the distance
I shouldn’t ask for things
Things that will just bring about this.
And others.
Oh how my heart hurts.
My stomach in sentiment
I feel sick
And I must wash off what I would prefer to keep
Your being
I did not mean to cause this.
This was the last thing I want to add to this day.
This week.

“What a fucking mess”

“Inner turmoil is immense
Outside factors overwhelming
I feel so distant from everyone
And nothing is similar or familiar
Did too much too quick
After moving I bled
And hurt so much for the rest of the day and into the next
Nothing feels right”

Apr 12

The mind plays tricks on us my dear
Walking us down strange unlit paths then suddenly illuminating everything
The conscious awake or not it strays and plays
Grasping at stones you’ve purposefully left unturned
And memories buried deep

Fears let loose to run rampant
Attaching yourself to anyone is ground for pain and uncertain doubt

Which begets pain and sorrow and anger


A cycle,
for humanity can’t stand to suffer alone

We drag ourselves into it

Over and over and over and over
Again and again and again and again and again

Prolonging our own suffering by decades

Apr 10
“You should always know
I wish for your happiness
even without me.”
Haiku on the sad truth

Apr 7
“Grow apart

Circumstances change

And the world continues on

Looking back serves no purpose

And looking forward can prove daunting

But it’s always the better choice.”

“We all have a weak spot
For someone or something
There will always be a pressure point
Something that draws you forth.
Whether you ever want it to or not”

“Life’s a mess
And then you die”

Apr 6
“slept better than i have in months
more than i have in years
and yet i’m still exhausted
the push and pull of people
and their emotions”

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