but to censor myself would be unreal.
so i’ll leave it to sit.
I no longer feel like this relationship is sustainable suddenly.
You don’t seem to care at all about me anymore.
Just what I can give you. Which is hot, the the sexual fashion to some degree.
But loosing a friend. And someone who I’ve gone through a lot with. That is upsetting. And I don’t want a slow drift. If that is what is to be. Then I just want to cut off the limb and carry on.
Yes everything changed and ‘reset’ when you left to some degree. You are gone. Things are different. And yet, the games are still being played by everyone. Except me.
Why lie. Why try to coerce someone into something they themselves are doing while lying about it all.
Its just so fucking dumb. I thought this was over with. I tire of bullshit.
I do not use the word home lightly.
So when I sigh it into the crook of your neck,
Believe that your spine is a timber frame,
Your kiss a welcome mat,
And your enveloping arms my front door sekaoj.
Laying in the shower sobbing.
This isn’t fun. This is torture. So abrupt. And so sudden I know naught from whence it grew.
Yesterday and the days before. No matter how difficult I still enjoyed myself and had fun.
Today. No. This has been a wreck.
Everything crumbling in my hands.
Watch it break.